I have heard that many authors say they always throw away their first chapter and previously I would have agreed with them. In fact I started a novel ages ago and the first chapter was just awful. Actually the whole thing was awful. It had seemed like a great idea in my head but trying to get it out and on paper it just fell apart. I have had similar experiences when trying to draw or paint something. Inside me I can see this amazing picture and then on paper it turns into an embarrassment.
That earlier novel did not get completely abandoned, however. It eventually emerged as a short play script and finally a short film script. The original book attempt lies buried in shame in a drawer. I am unable to actually throw away anything I have written.
With ‘Invisus’ it has been a different experience so far. The main factor in this is that the ideas for the book had been wriggling around my conscious and subconscious mind for a while, and then a first sentence came into my head. And I liked it. I really liked it. This meant that the rest of the first chapter had to be good enough not to get binned and I hope I have achieved that.
However, the last time I sat down to write I felt I was struggling. The words did not seem to flow. Sometimes I write a sentence and feel quite smug that it came from me. But this time I wasn’t so sure. I was interrupted by a phone call (strangely just as I had typed the word ‘phone’) and I decided this was an indication to stop. I had only managed a few hundred words and it remains to be seen whether they stay or go. I will need to reread them next time but I am not confident. I may just leave them in for now and look at them again later. I am too prone to allowing myself to get entangled in over thinking so it is probably best to move on and worry about it later.
So I don’t know whether that was progress or no progress but the main thing is that I spent time writing and without doing that there won’t be a book.
BTW I found the quote I mentioned in the first blog and discovered it was only half a quote:
‘Everyone has a book in them.. and in most cases that is where it should stay.’
I hope I am not one of the ‘most cases’